Sunday, December 7, 2014

Heebie-Jeebies (Three--or Four--Things That Bother Me)

There are a lot of things that get under my skin, but today I just happened to be confronted with three of them right in a row, so I figured these, in particular, deserve some blog-time.

Image: Wikipedia#1: The sensation of biting into frozen strawberries. I first discovered the true horror of this feeling many years ago, when I was somehow conned into eating strawberry-flavored ice cream (something I don't particularly like on its own) that contained small chunks of the actual fruit throughout. I was rudely reminded when eating a fruit parfait this morning of the cringe-inducing feeling. 

To be honest, I have no problem with other frozen fruits and strawberries in the natural state are a-ok in my book, but something about the texture of frozen strawberries on my teeth is truly grotesque to me. I'm aware that others feel this way about biting into the seeds, but this isn't what bothers me; rather, the flesh of the fruit in solid form is repulsive. I'm not sure if this is some bizarre sensitivity/phobia unique to my person, or this is a common epidemic. Either way: ick, ick, ick.

#2: Men with facial hair. No, I do not find facial hair attractive on men. While I can't deny that my artistic eye recognizes that there are a select few of face shapes combined with certain bone structures that can pull it off and look okay with specific styles, I must rebel once again against a common delusion and say facial hair is hideous. I'm going to pinpoint just a few particular aspects that bother me, otherwise I'll be here all day. Mustaches alone make up an entire category, but instead of going on a rampage to explain my disgust for these lip caterpillars, I'll simply quote my mother, who quotes her dad: "Why do you think your nose is so important that you have to underline it?"

Another massive category is dedicated solely to a specific style of beard. I'm not sure if there is a name for this atrocious look (there probably is, don't ask me); my oldest brother has this look, which crops up at an alarming rate during No-Shave November, Christian Bale has/had this look. It consists of the natural growing of one's facial hair and rounding it back until it appears that there is a discolored extension of one's face. It looks like this:
Fig. 1 With this, I shall coin the phrase "Bale Beard".
Urg. That abnormal tumor beneath his nose seems to be a common occurrence, going hand-in-hand with the beard.

Honestly, this is one of those moments where I look up to the sky with a dramatic look and ponder inwardly as to why I have to explain myself; I truly wonder how others cannot comprehend on their own, but moving on...

Image: Wordpress#3: Driving near large bodies of water. I wouldn't go as far as to say I have hydrophobia (taking showers or going to the beach doesn't bother me, though I can't swim), but this is definitely a reoccurring theme of my nightmares, especially when I was younger: being in the car with my family and the ground breaking beneath us to reveal water; being on a school bus that nose-dives into water and begins to sink. Large bodies of water in general are freaky, to be honest, and makes up for more than half of the reason why I cannot swim (the other being my legitimate inability to float, due to a lack of body fat).

Bonus--#4: Swallowing pills. I've recently come to learn that this fear isn't just me and is actually pretty common. For the longest time, if I had a headache, I would take children's chewable tylenol to avoid the adult pills and capsules. Back when I was still in elementary school, I ran my hand down a wooden railing and jammed a wide splinter over an inch long into my palm between the base of my thumb and index finger (I still have the scar), and the doctor prescribed some sort of pill to aid in removing it.

This was when I discovered my bizarre psychological issue with taking pills. Maybe the tiny me saw the pill as being massive (it was) and felt I was going to choke, but whatever it was, it stuck with me till adulthood. Any prescriptions were crushed and mixed in with applesauce (which I now can't stand) or yogurt (which I also can no longer stand), and even despite this crushed form, my throat would automatically close and I found I couldn't swallow even after hours of trying.

Follow up--It was only in this recent year that I've had to take an important medication every day and have been able to conquer this (though, even still, sometimes I have to trick my body into swallowing and it takes a while).

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